I was in a dismal state this afternoon walking out the door stoically with bruised feelings that have not yet recovered over various issues. Not everyone is detail-oriented, not everyone considers others before self, not everyone thinks before he or she lets any blunt nasty thing fly from his or her mouth. Details aren’t important, but people I love are more important to me than being petty. Even I am not kind always. That doesn’t fix the things that made me sad today, but life goes on.
I was walking out to catch a bus up the street to figure out why some of my aid was inexplicably cut off. As it turns out, bad things happen when the office misfiles your paperwork. Those poor caseworkers are overworked and underpaid; we get what we pay for (and it’s a mess).
And as I was walking out a dark thought occurred to me: “Is my life worth living?”
Honestly, I could argue both sides of that.
The answer I eventually arrived at was that life was not worth living unless one could find God in all things.
That may or may not be a great answer, that may or may not be profound, but it’s what I’ve got.
I’m out and about in the San Fernando Valley this afternoon. The chimes on the local Presbyterian church sang me The Old Rugged Cross on the hour last hour, amid the din of crazy traffic. It was the first thing that made me giggle all day.
And as I sit with melting ice, thinking about a refill on my iced tea, I realize that even though there were a lot of people who didn’t make room in their lives for me today, it is glorious t-shirt weather in Los Angeles. People may not have had room for me, but God made room for me to be outside in the beautiful world to enjoy glorious weather.
Can I really ask for more than that?
Blessings for your day. — VKS