For you, dear reader, are not clairvoyant to the half-written posts that exist saved as drafts, and the exegesis that exists surrounding the question of who are the heros of my faith. All of the above exist.
Today I schlepped across half of Los Angeles to the wonderful Jesuit university by the airport to meet with an admissions counselor. My status? Kinda like Pinocchio…something between “not a student” and “a real student.” I put in to be readmitted for fall, but my credit stupidity could still be an issue (the argument is that lenders don’t know that I’ll pay them back because even though I’ve spent the last nearly eight years religiously paying down a debt with a dollar amount equivalent to nearly my potential annual take-home pay, because I don’t have open trade lines I don’t qualify for private student loans to bridge the gap on living expenses without a cosigner; when I first heard that argument, I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle somebody, as it makes NO kind of sense!!!!!). I will keep myself perpetually potentially admitted, it’s all I can do.
Today was a twelve-hour journey.
Yesterday I schlepped up the coast 50 mi. to visit my storage and go thrift store shopping (got some killer deals on designer clothes, including a new Levis jean jacket for $9.66). Raided storage for summer clothes and bicycle parts. Saw a few old friends too.
Yesterday was a fifteen hour journey.
Tomorrow and Thursday morning I will hang around and do stuff at home and further fix/clean my newly acquired bicycle (not expensive, but will be a pretty sweet ride when I finish cleaning it up). Thursday afternoon the six or seven hour journey to physical therapy.
Friday I have all three kiddos all day.
I’m getting sick again, but it’s little wonder at that. My days have been engaging but exhausting. Every day God quietly finds ways to underscore and affirm my vocation (e.g, today I had impromptu tea with a complete stranger for an hour or more due to lack of available “alone” tables at one of the campus coffee shops; if you know me at all it likely requires zero imagination to understand how I would randomly sit down at a table with a total stranger and end up having a wonderful and engaging discussion on a variety of topics). Spent three hours last night talking with a man whose bus journey paralleled my own for two long bus rides.
I maintain that “shyness” was merely a twenty-seven year phase; I’ve been over that phase for some time indeed.
I know where I am supposed to be, but am now just praying for the provision to make it all happen.
Still also waiting for Annie to have her babies.
The roaches still torture me, and send their regards (in the illuminated manuscript novel of my life, they clearly symbolize all the demonic darkness waiting in the wings; the lamp I refuse to turn off after dark is the Holy Spirit).
In lieu of original creative content (which bugs me since there is so much half-done), I offer you the link to the text and audio of the wonderful sermon on God the Father, almighty from last Sunday.
I’m inspired by many things that have happened this week and have a lot to think about. Today I found words in a liturgical prayer for social justice:
“Blessed are those who died seeking justice, they bring us life.”
Those were words to “unstick” my brain about my heroes in the faith.
But for now? I need to rest.
Blessings! – VKS